I knew I was gay when.....
So I was having brunch with the boys on Sunday.
The boys being Jimmy, Michael and Brian. (We miss you Dennis!) We went to brunch at Home, which was (pardon my blatantly big homosexual reference) fabulous! I think the thing that really sold all of us were the $3.00 build-your-own-Bloody-Mary table.
HOG HEAVEN!
Anyhoo, that’s not what this post is about, although don’t get me started!
Towards the end of brunch the subject of how we knew we were gay came up.
My story was as follows.
Actually it’s not my story, it belongs to my mother, but I still love telling it.
Way back when I was younger I used to absolutely LOVE The Six Million Dollar Man. I used to have all his toys, including the Maskatron.
Okay, everyone all together now: GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
However when Lindsey Wagner, The Bionic Woman, happened on the scene I was smitten, so to say.
Mom got me my Lindsay Wagner doll and I was all giddy and cheery.
I played with that damned thing ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.
The Bionic Woman Vs. The Monster Frog I Caught In The Back Yard! (she won)
The Bionic Woman Vs The Cast of Star Wars!! (she won)
The Bionic Woman Vs My Dad’s Pipe Collection! (she won; I lost)
However something happened and I became so utterly bored with her it was pathetic. What was it that happened?
Diana Prince/Wonder Woman of course!
Of course mom refused to buy me a Wonder Woman doll.
Humph!
So, being the creative little devil I was back then, I rummaged in the garage through the Christmas supplies, found myself some gold ribbon, and took my Bored-To-Tears Lindsay doll, put the gold ribbon on her wrists and her forehead. I then took a black felt marker and began coloring her hair black.
I was done!
I went running into the living room to my mother, my new invention in hand, and screamed “Mommy look I made a Wonder Woman out of my Bionic Woman!”
My mom thought silently to herself at that moment “Yep, he’s gonna be gay!”
I love you Mom! Thank you for making me smile every time I hear that story!
The boys being Jimmy, Michael and Brian. (We miss you Dennis!) We went to brunch at Home, which was (pardon my blatantly big homosexual reference) fabulous! I think the thing that really sold all of us were the $3.00 build-your-own-Bloody-Mary table.
HOG HEAVEN!
Anyhoo, that’s not what this post is about, although don’t get me started!
Towards the end of brunch the subject of how we knew we were gay came up.
My story was as follows.
Actually it’s not my story, it belongs to my mother, but I still love telling it.
Way back when I was younger I used to absolutely LOVE The Six Million Dollar Man. I used to have all his toys, including the Maskatron.
Okay, everyone all together now: GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
However when Lindsey Wagner, The Bionic Woman, happened on the scene I was smitten, so to say.
Mom got me my Lindsay Wagner doll and I was all giddy and cheery.
I played with that damned thing ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.
The Bionic Woman Vs. The Monster Frog I Caught In The Back Yard! (she won)
The Bionic Woman Vs The Cast of Star Wars!! (she won)
The Bionic Woman Vs My Dad’s Pipe Collection! (she won; I lost)
However something happened and I became so utterly bored with her it was pathetic. What was it that happened?
Diana Prince/Wonder Woman of course!
Of course mom refused to buy me a Wonder Woman doll.
Humph!
So, being the creative little devil I was back then, I rummaged in the garage through the Christmas supplies, found myself some gold ribbon, and took my Bored-To-Tears Lindsay doll, put the gold ribbon on her wrists and her forehead. I then took a black felt marker and began coloring her hair black.
I was done!
I went running into the living room to my mother, my new invention in hand, and screamed “Mommy look I made a Wonder Woman out of my Bionic Woman!”
My mom thought silently to herself at that moment “Yep, he’s gonna be gay!”
I love you Mom! Thank you for making me smile every time I hear that story!
Why no one has commented on your Jamie Sommers/Wonder Woman post is beyond me! I think I laughed for about 2 hours straight on that one. "Bitch, I'll show you..." and out comes your Wonder Woman creation! Too funny. I too had a Six Million Dollar Man doll. I also had the inflatable Mission Control Center. Didn't the bionic eye sort of freak you out? And is it just me or did it seem like the Steve Austin doll had weird posture? Well my bionic day ended when our family pet decided to use Steve Austin as a chew toy.
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